love and honor

The photo above is my little sister, Taylor, taken for her senior pictures. (no I didn't take them, I wish!!)

As I write this blog entry with her in mind, I ask that everyone reading this please include her in your prayers. And Taylor if you are reading this I hope you can gain some insight and finally understand how many people truly love you and are concerned for your future.

As I look at your picture, I can hardly believe you will be turning 18 tomorrow. I can remember the day my mom told me she was pregnant with you and even the exact location at a stop light on Omaha street near Sanfords. When you arrived, I video taped every possible moment Mom and Dad would allow me to until everyone was so sick of the video camera, my privileges were taken away. As you got older and more annoying, we definitely had our battles. They generally included nail polish, my room and a stealing habit I tried to break you of. Because of you, I got very handy at rigging my bedroom door shut with furniture, a lariat rope and my bed. I, of course had to crawl out the window to get out, but that was a minor setback compared to the anger I would experience if I didn't go to the trouble of blocking you out. As we both matured and grew up, we finally grew into a stage we could tolerate each other and came to realize one day we would wish we had this time back to spend together. Jed, Jayda and I have enjoyed our summers with you and all the help you are when you come to babysit. I'm so thankful for the time you've been able to spend with Jayda and for the chance for her to really know you. Living far from my family always worries me that my children won't "know" my side of the family in the way that I wish they could.

Now for the serious stuff...I don't know where to start or how to finish, but I have to express something in writing, since it's how I feel I am best able to express my thoughts and feelings. Life is a journey with many ups and many downs and sometimes, time is the only thing that heals us, changes us, motivates us, makes things clearer, or gives us an opportunity to change our path. I hope that you can find the time to take a long hard look at yourself, NOW and yourself in the future. Are the things you are doing now going to make an impact on your tomorrow, and are they the impact you had hoped for? We all live with regrets and things we wish we had done differently. There is no way to have really lived, without making some mistakes, stumbling and falling and feeling as though our world is falling in on top of us. The important part of making these mistakes and picking ourselves up off the floor, is our ability to learn from them and not let these small things, be our defining factor. Learn, grow, and trust in God.

There comes a point in your life when you have to take control of your future. The things you are doing today WILL change your tomorrow. You have all the support in the world at your fingertips, we are not your enemy and we are not looking down upon you. We are standing behind you, cheering you on and anxiously hoping you will begin taking the right steps. So many before you, have walked in your same steps. We have also faced hardships and struggled to find our direction. We've felt like giving up when we had to face things we wished would just go away. You are strong enough, you are smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like you!

When Grandpa died, I remember thinking of all the things I wished he would have been able to see. I thought of you and your high school graduation, all the great-grandkids birthdays, the birth of Paisley, Jayda in her first rodeo, running barrels, me graduating college. All the things he wouldn't miss for the world, because he
believed in accomplishments, honor and pride. And when he left this world, he left a family full of pride, honor and the accomplishments he worked so hard to gain. Nothing was ever handed to him, it was earned and all the better because it was earned. Now the responsibilty is in our hands, to honor his name and the life he created for us. Although he will not physically be in presence at the events I mentioned earlier, we know spiritually he is always with us, always watching.